eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
