i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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