i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
