dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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