So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
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