Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
