belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
