I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
