If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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