You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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