I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
