WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize