I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize