so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
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Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
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Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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