She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
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We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
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are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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