It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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