Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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