I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Michael Bay diarrhea
I forgot how hot balto sounded
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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