You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
