Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
