she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
