Have you finally orgasmed yet?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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