Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
