My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
