I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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