all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
