exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
