I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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