a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
