I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Randomize