yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
