stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
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As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
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I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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