Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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