there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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