We got so high we made milksteak
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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