just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize