Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
