im drinking this country out of the recession.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
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