I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
