i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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