it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
