and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
COCAINE IS GR8
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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