wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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