At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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