actually, I'm a sock model
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
