Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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