Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
