So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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