pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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