I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
