You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Boobs speak an international language.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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