The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
