yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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