There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
