some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
