Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
