we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
