I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
