I am in a vortex of obligation.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I miss vodka workout Fridays
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
