You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need Xanax blowdarts
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize