you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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