You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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