I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
we're so committed to being not committed
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
