Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
